On the journey....

Panel I created for the Babaylan and Baybayin event.  It's my depiction of a young queer person in precolonial Philippines, with some tattooing (everyone was tattooed), hair braided with resin in their hair to make it shine.  Acrylic, 4ft. X 9 ft. c. Victoria Gardner 2017

What a journey I have been on.

Since that cool April morning at the Burien Starbucks with Hiram CalfLooking and Robin Magnan, I have been on a quest to get to know not just my ancestral roots (not the Ancestry.com type) but my indigenous cultural traditions as well. Specifically, I have been looking for the "sacred space" that LGBTQI2S people occupied in precolonial Philippines.  Did they exist?  Yes they did.  Were they honored and respected?  Yes they were and in at least one indigenous tribe, the Teduray Tribe in a book by Stuart Schlegel called Wisdom from a Rainforest, continue to be held in high regard (the mentefuwaley libun - man who transforms into a woman and mentefuwalei lagei - woman who transforms into a man).  I did not personally know this and just this piece of information helps me in my continued search in getting to know my own culture in the islands now known as the Philippines, identify how we were traumatized and what we had to give up and to concurrently find my ancestor's medicines to help me heal and become a better human, finally worthy enough to stand in complete solidarity with my community and other POC communities.

I learned about Philippine and Ancestral Medicine from Angela Angel (Other Ways of Seeing), learned a new way to smudge from Julz Ignacio and Angela. The water smudge the class was gifted with was an amazing to smudge inside buildings.  One cannot imagine the gratitude, cultural pride, and the ancestral connection I felt when I shared the water smudge at the recent Montana Two Spirit Gathering in Flathead country.  Hiram and Robin being there to witness that was ah-mazing.  

I remember thinking on Day 2 of the workshop, after an intense Day 1 of cleansing, energy clearing, and connecting with my ancestors, "I was born and raised in the Philippines but everything I know about being Filipino was from a colonized identity.  I am a colonized individual.  I must get to know a new  process of decolonization."

This revelation has helped me to reclaim my traditions and values, my knowledge, my sacred roles as a queer Pilipinx person and has helped me reset my thinking on decolonization and anti-racism.