tear soup
I went to a grief support group today.
it was powerful, sad, yet comforting. in attendance were several folks - two sisters who lost their 80 year old mother; a woman who lost her husband of 50 years in January; a young guy who lost his wife of 8 years; a middle aged man who lost his wife of 28 years; a young lady in a wheel chair who lost her mom two weeks ago; and me...all of us suffered recent losses - january, february, march.
we watched a video called Tear Soup. you can watch a teaser here... http://www.griefwatch.com/ it was based on a book by Pat Schwiebert & Chuck DeKlyen - it was written like a children's book, but really it is for everyone, young and old alike. It was about a woman named Grandy who suffered a loss in her life and who was making tear soup, a metaphor for how she dealt with her grief. i got a copy of the book, it was extremely powerful for me....
i learned quite a bit - that grieving is messy; that making tear soup takes a long time. i can take the good and bad memories and put it into my soup. sometimes i make my tear soup alone. sometimes my tear soup overflows with memories. Some people came to add words to my tear soup. Some people can only take a small cup of other people's tear soup. Sometimes someone else makes tear soup with me...tear soup is a way to sort through your feelings when you lose someone.
of course, everyone cried in the group during the video and after - the women AND the men. big tears, and tears that seemed to come from the painful pit where your heart used to be. the pain between us felt the same all around. it was familiar. i could feel it and it was comforting. it was good to hear other people feeling what i was feeling.
this guy Joe, I knew from the UW. i recognized him. I didnt' know he just lost his wife...again it shows me that i never really know what's going on in other people's lives. you walk by someone everyday as you do your job, never stopping to think what pain they must be going through. seeing him at the grief support group taught me that lesson.
i shared my thoughts about being in the same house that matthew passed away. how i don't want this to be remembered as the house where my husband passed away...it is a place of good memories and laughter and get togethers and meals. i also shared that i was wondering why he hasn't talked to me in my dreams yet...by the end of the meeting, i concluded it probably was because i'm not ready yet. one day out of the blue he will send me a sign that he is doing ok. then i can sleep in peace.
then maybe i can stop making my tear soup.
grief support is every second saturday of the month near seattle center at the providence hospice office.
it was powerful, sad, yet comforting. in attendance were several folks - two sisters who lost their 80 year old mother; a woman who lost her husband of 50 years in January; a young guy who lost his wife of 8 years; a middle aged man who lost his wife of 28 years; a young lady in a wheel chair who lost her mom two weeks ago; and me...all of us suffered recent losses - january, february, march.
we watched a video called Tear Soup. you can watch a teaser here... http://www.griefwatch.com/ it was based on a book by Pat Schwiebert & Chuck DeKlyen - it was written like a children's book, but really it is for everyone, young and old alike. It was about a woman named Grandy who suffered a loss in her life and who was making tear soup, a metaphor for how she dealt with her grief. i got a copy of the book, it was extremely powerful for me....
i learned quite a bit - that grieving is messy; that making tear soup takes a long time. i can take the good and bad memories and put it into my soup. sometimes i make my tear soup alone. sometimes my tear soup overflows with memories. Some people came to add words to my tear soup. Some people can only take a small cup of other people's tear soup. Sometimes someone else makes tear soup with me...tear soup is a way to sort through your feelings when you lose someone.
of course, everyone cried in the group during the video and after - the women AND the men. big tears, and tears that seemed to come from the painful pit where your heart used to be. the pain between us felt the same all around. it was familiar. i could feel it and it was comforting. it was good to hear other people feeling what i was feeling.
this guy Joe, I knew from the UW. i recognized him. I didnt' know he just lost his wife...again it shows me that i never really know what's going on in other people's lives. you walk by someone everyday as you do your job, never stopping to think what pain they must be going through. seeing him at the grief support group taught me that lesson.
i shared my thoughts about being in the same house that matthew passed away. how i don't want this to be remembered as the house where my husband passed away...it is a place of good memories and laughter and get togethers and meals. i also shared that i was wondering why he hasn't talked to me in my dreams yet...by the end of the meeting, i concluded it probably was because i'm not ready yet. one day out of the blue he will send me a sign that he is doing ok. then i can sleep in peace.
then maybe i can stop making my tear soup.
grief support is every second saturday of the month near seattle center at the providence hospice office.
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