A dream and a ring
So Mandela dreamed about his Dad the other day. Or should I say that his Dad visited him in his dream the other day. We were eating dinner with Jamila, him and me, and his Dad was there eating along with us in his black robe. Apparently, Mandela and I were in disbelief or shock that he's there, and Jamila was unaware of anything. Anyhow so Matthew asked him how he was doing and he said fine. He then told him not to forget about his black heritage...and that was it...i thought it was cool since he hadn't visited me yet in my dreams. I have had nothing but dreamless sleep since Matthew passed...
On another issue, I finally took off my wedding ring about 5 days ago...it was difficult. I asked his permission. The main thing that got me to really think about it was when I was talking with my sister last week and how emotional I got when I think about or talk about him...She told me that if I don't let him go, he won't be able to rest in peace and I happened to look down at my hand and saw my wedding ring. So that got me thinking about my ring and how it symbolized our ties to one another. It got me thinking that maybe I do need to let that part of our love go so he can rest in peace and do what he needs to do in his next life. Does this seem weird to you? I guess it just makes sense in my mind. So I went to the cemetery, visited and asked his permission. It's not that I am not grieving anymore, I just want to set him free, symbolically...So I took off my wedding ring and have a different ring in its place. I look at my finger frequently and it is strange not to have a wedding ring on it, since I've had one for over 25 years. I feel ok about this decision though.
Thinking about Mandela's dream and Matthew in his robe, I thought wouldnt it be funny if that was his way of telling us - let go of my clothes? I am slowly getting through this, and I think I am getting to the point of being ok with putting some (not all) of his things away. I don't think I can do it right now, maybe when i return from my trip. But I am thinking about is it time to do this, is he sending me these signs or messages in different ways? Or is it all my own personal interpretation. Maybe it doesn't matter, but I do pay attention to these things because I do believe that we exist in some form after we pass over. I feel like this is his way of sending me messages....What do you think?
On another issue, I finally took off my wedding ring about 5 days ago...it was difficult. I asked his permission. The main thing that got me to really think about it was when I was talking with my sister last week and how emotional I got when I think about or talk about him...She told me that if I don't let him go, he won't be able to rest in peace and I happened to look down at my hand and saw my wedding ring. So that got me thinking about my ring and how it symbolized our ties to one another. It got me thinking that maybe I do need to let that part of our love go so he can rest in peace and do what he needs to do in his next life. Does this seem weird to you? I guess it just makes sense in my mind. So I went to the cemetery, visited and asked his permission. It's not that I am not grieving anymore, I just want to set him free, symbolically...So I took off my wedding ring and have a different ring in its place. I look at my finger frequently and it is strange not to have a wedding ring on it, since I've had one for over 25 years. I feel ok about this decision though.
Thinking about Mandela's dream and Matthew in his robe, I thought wouldnt it be funny if that was his way of telling us - let go of my clothes? I am slowly getting through this, and I think I am getting to the point of being ok with putting some (not all) of his things away. I don't think I can do it right now, maybe when i return from my trip. But I am thinking about is it time to do this, is he sending me these signs or messages in different ways? Or is it all my own personal interpretation. Maybe it doesn't matter, but I do pay attention to these things because I do believe that we exist in some form after we pass over. I feel like this is his way of sending me messages....What do you think?
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