and now, a lump...

It may not be anything at all, but i felt a lump in my breast today. first thing this morning. It was one of those, "what the hell?" things...so i rush to make an appointment at the clinic as soon as they opened and i did get seen. my doc didn't see anything real conclusive, she felt the lump, it might be breast tissue, there's no pain, so that was a good sign. but they're having me do a mammo and an ultrasound at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance tomorrow anyways. I hope, hope, hope it is nothing big or simply benign, or a false alarm. Anyone of those would be so the right answer right now! I don't know if i can take being sick or having to deal with the c word again.

However, in the course of the day, i regrouped. Well, so what. If i have an illness, or if I don't, it's the same crazy life with the same crazy challenges, what else would be new. I do believe that God doesn't give us more than we can ever handle. Of course I am going to fight like hell to get better, to get well, if it is cancer but I won't worry about that till i know for sure. So tomorrow I should know. I have an appointment first thing in the morning. It'll be alright. I'll be alright.